Deut. 5:6-16
Psalm 127 Ephesians 5:21-33 Luke 12:49-53; 14:25-27 May
4, 2008
Community of Hope Easter 7
David Drum
Series: Jesus Said What?
Part 6: About family relationships
Several of our children, youth, and
young adults are getting ready for finals, so as a public service announcement,
I thought I would help by getting in the test-taking spirit. Three true or false statements, and you all
have to answer.
T or F Jesus is pro-family. (True)
T or F Jesus is pro-peace. (True)
T or F The shortest distance between two points
is a straight line. True – most of the
time. But not today.
Jesus is for the family. Jesus is totally in favor of peace. But the shortest distance between two points
is not a straight line – at least not
on those two topics. If you want the
healthiest of families, you can’t get there directly. If you want to experience peace, pursuing peace is not the answer.
Next Sunday three major occasions
are worth celebrating: Pentecost, the Global Day of Prayer, and Mother’s
Day. Can’t do justice so all three
simultaneously, so I suppose you could say we moved the family-oriented theme
to today. Doesn’t this sound like a
great text for Mother’s Day: “From now on there will be five in one family
divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and
son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother,
mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against
mother-in-law.” I have several weddings
coming up – should I suggest this as a Scripture reading?
Or if that isn’t enough to cause
head-scratching, how about this? “If
anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and
children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my
disciple.” We’ve said it for the last
six weeks now – Jesus said what?
There is a battle going on for the
heart of the church. All over the
globe. Just like there was in those
first 10 days of 24/7 round the clock prayer preceding Pentecost. The course of history was at stake, then and
now. I can’t find words strong enough to
express what was at stake in this battle then, and what’s at stake in this
battle now. Our battle is not against
flesh and blood, but against principalities, the rulers of this dark age. We aren’t battling each other. We’re battling evil spirits that would try to
convince us we are battling each
other.
Let’s start with Luke 12. Before Jesus the family man talks about
mother-in-laws, he says, “I’ve come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already burning.” What’s that mean? It means that Jesus expects a reaction. Patting him on the back and saying, “nice
Jesus, nice Jesus,” like you’d talk to a kitty cat – that’s what he finds offensive.
Jesus said something similar in the book of Revelation, when he was
speaking to the church in
It’s in that context that he says
that he came to bring division, not peace, family members turning against each
other. If that was all he said, we’d
have to answer “false” to the “Jesus is pro-peace” question. But we know that isn’t all he said. Jesus
said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, a peace not like the
peace the world can give.” Jesus is the Prince of Peace. So he’s not opposed to peace. He’s just
saying that you, too, should expect a reaction if you’re following hard after
him. If you’ve followed Jesus for many
years, and never once had someone turn away from you because of your faith, you
might need to ask yourself a tough question: do you love peace more than Jesus,
or Jesus more than peace? Now if you
make a habit of offending people, that’s
a different question altogether. Are
people offended by Jesus in you, or
just you?
In Luke 14, Jesus says, “If anyone
comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children,
brothers and sisters – even his own life – he cannot be my disciple.” If that were all Jesus said, we’d have to answer false to the statement, “Jesus is pro-family.” But we know that isn’t all Jesus said. When
dying on the cross, he showed his love and concern for his own mother. He welcomed children personally, and warned
those who would harm or mislead children in the harshest of terms. His view on the importance of the marriage
commitment far exceeded the prevailing view of the day. Jesus is not anti-family.
Here’s the deal. The best way to improve your family
relationships is to grow your love for Jesus hotter. A husband and wife will never be closer to
one another than when Jesus stands in between them. When my love for Valerie starts with my love
for Jesus, I love her much better. The
shortest distance between two points is not
a straight line, not when it comes to families.
If I throw an extra log on the fire of my love for Jesus, if I put Jesus
first and worship him instead of worshipping
my kids, my love for Michael, Amy, Daniel, and Emily grows. Jesus is like a love amplifier. Put all your energy into loving Him, and your
love for other people grows, not shrinks.
And what’s more, that’s true even if they don’t love you back.
The Ephesians text that talks about
marriage – it could be fun to talk about wives submitting to their husbands,
and husbands loving their wives like Christ loves the church, at least as fun
as the other texts I’ve chosen to preach on recently. But for now, can I just point out to how many
references there are to Jesus and the church in this section of the Bible
devoted to marriage? Depending on how
you count, I came up with 16 different times that Jesus or his body, the
church, was mentioned in that one passage.
The closer we are to Jesus, the closer we are to each other.
But what if only one person in a
family is a Christian? Does that still
hold true? Shouldn’t we hold back on
expressing our faith, in order to keep peace in the home? See, the same thing is true of peace as is
true of family relationships. The best
way to experience peace is to run headlong toward Jesus. Peace is elusive if peace is all you’re
after. It slips through your hands like
a greased pig. When I’m talking to a
wife whose husband is not a believer, I don’t advise her to try to cool off her
faith in order to keep the peace. Even
if that was her husband’s asking for. Where else will we find the patience we need
to truly love someone, except in Jesus?
What other source is there for forgiveness, a forgiveness deep enough
for Jesus to even forgive the people murdering him? Love that is patient and kind, love that
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, and never
fails – where does that kind of love come from?
Only from Jesus. No, my advice to
the person unfortunate enough to be getting harassed for their faith, my advice
will still be to draw from the well that never runs dry. I’m not suggesting that a person run to
church every time it’s open in order to avoid the pain of being home. Jesus will be able to provide wisdom for
knowing which church activities are
vital, and which ones aren’t. I’m not
saying to constantly badger the other
person about Jesus, because actions speak louder than words, anyway. But don’t stop doing things that help your faith grow, because the harsher the
demands coming your direction, the more like Jesus you’ll need to be.
Whether in the nuclear family or the
church family, the peace that Jesus provides is like no other. You just can’t get it directly. Peace is a byproduct, not a goal. Make Jesus the goal, and peace comes with
it. Try to pursue peace without Jesus, and you’ll lose both.
This is not hypothetical! If a church made keeping the peace its
highest goal, so that they never took any risks, never said anything
controversial, never made any changes, made sure that they tried to please
everyone all the time – what would be the result? Not peace.
The world’s biggest infighting.
No, the goal, I’m convinced, is to love people ferociously, but love
Jesus more. Do what Jesus tells you to
do, reach out to those not yet part of the body, or drifting away from the body
– reach out to the point that it makes you uncomfortable, take enough risks
that you experience some failures – and that’s what will bring a lasting peace
to a church family. Try to save your
life and you’ll lose it. But lose it for
his sake, and you’ll gain it
forever. So when Jesus says go, go!
Don’t back down, don’t stop. Because
when it’s your grandchild who just became a Christian, your neighbor who just
discovered hope, your sister’s marriage that just got saved – well, everyone rejoices when that happens.
Does loving Jesus first mean that
common sense is no longer necessary? Occasionally,
but not regularly. Does loving new
people more mean loving existing
people less? Never. Jesus’ love supply isn’t limited. Putting Jesus first means more love for others, not less. More efforts at communication. More humility. More confession of our failures. More forgiveness. More truth.
And more risks, because love is a risky thing. Love opens up the possibility of getting
hurt. Apathy doesn’t carry that
risk. But then apathy gets you spit out
of Jesus’ mouth, too. If we all pursue
Jesus passionately, so that His love for people both new and old becomes ours, then no matter how many
disagreements there are on strategy or timing or methods or details, it won’t
slow down Jesus’ church a bit. Love for
each other will grow. In fact, it’s the
only way it will grow.
Jesus isn’t saying that division and
hatred are what he intends. Satan intends those things, so as much
as it possibly can depend on you, work for peace. Don’t let Satan win. Jesus is saying that as long as there is free
will, people who are free to love are also free not to, free to reject. We
can’t change anyone else; only God can.
And He wants to show his undying love through us. Love covers over a multitude of wrongs – not revenge, not holding a
grudge, not apathy, not going along to get along. This concept is so important that he says you
need to hate anything that would
steal your love for Jesus. If you lose
your own love, all is lost. Put your own
oxygen mask on first, the flight attendants tell you. You dying won’t help someone else live. Making peace with those who choose to reject
is not in our control. Jesus can do it, though.
Thursday night at the citywide
National Day of Prayer celebration, Kamal Saleem was the main speaker. He was born in